Smoldering flames

Flicker and Fade,

It isn’t supposed to be this way. 

Back and forth,

blown out torch.

Reignite,

Dissipate.

Love,

Then hate.

Many mistakes,

Repeated promise of change.

Time to re-evaluate .

Smoldering flames,

Dare to try again?

Some fires can’t ever be truly tamed.

Beauty and the beast.

Her cries filled the night air, as they always do, night after night.

By the time he got to her she was shaking and shivering with her knees to her chest and the pain within unmistakably displayed on her face. “Quiet my darling I am here now, the beast is gone”, he soothed. Somehow she found no comfort in his words, no peace in his embrace. She knew the beast would be back, the beast always came back. Night after night the beast came to take her away and she feared one day she wouldn’t be strong enough to stay, strong enough to look evil in the face again. No one knew how she felt, no one, or how empty their comforts were. No matter where she went the beast found her. She always felt the evil lurking near, feared it would never leave.

As night fell again she found herself searching every corner of the room, waiting. Then a familiar feeling came upon her, she knew the beast was here, somewhere in the darkness. “I know you are here” she said aloud at last. “I am never very far” the creature replied as their eyes met. “Leave me be” the woman begged. The creature scoffed at such a request. She trembled now as she was face to face with evil. Her eyes studied every detail of the creatures face, never lacking in beauty. She was a monster who inflicted pain only to dull her own.

“You are a monster” she finally spoke. “No my dear” she saw her mouth forming every word in the mirror “we are a monster”.  Every pain, every horror and every moment had made her this. She needed the beast to survive, the witch who erased her pain every moment she gave into the beast she was free. Every innocent soul she captured and consumed keeping the creature there, but also keeping her safe. She needed this. So she sat at the window in the tower and began to sing her lure, the beautiful melodic voice filling the woods. Until the moment came, another brave knight unknowingly caught in her snare. She smiled and let her hair down for him to climb, up up up to his impending doom.

After she had crushed him and emptied his soul from its fleshly casing he disappeared, as they always do and the creature was satisfied, she was satisfied. She was a monster and she knew it. She began to cry and the beast left once again. Soon her Prince would be back, but she knew even he was afraid of her. How would she ever be free….

GAME OVER

Some days I feel like my three year old daughter is the hardest level (the big boss) in a video game. Can I clean the mess hurricane Addie made and also simultaneously prevent her from further destruction? And go……

GAME OVER.

Even if I successfully scrub acrylic paint out of the carpet (after scrubbing expensive cleaner into it for an hour….It feels like a victory…..but I still lose, because I turn around and she has scattered toys and clothes and (crackers?) a food trail everywhere. Another hour of cleaning. Don’t get me wrong I love her, but today I wish I could duck tape her to the wall just for a five minute reprieve.

Motherhood is the most frightening and interesting hood I have ever been in.