Men

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Men are THE MOST CONFUSING creatures. There’s a wide variety so i’m not going to try to spout off “they are all the same” but they do like to play the same mind games. I have the worst luck too I only get hit on by two types 1)The menstruating she male: The one who says things like “Hey” and if you don’t text back immediately has a complete breakdown and texts you 57 times or 2)The typical douche: “Hey girl you got a keg in your pants….cause i’d tap that ass”. Such a charmer. Panty dropper 101 if you can hit on and insult her in the same sentence it’s golden. “Bitch you are so fine” and yes If you are wondering I have been blessed with that little number before. This isn’t even dating this is just me going to the damn grocery store. I think the answer is……I need to stop leaving my house. I’m a creep magnet.

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8 thoughts on “Men

  1. Advice from a fellow creep magnet: leave the house without showering, and wear little-to-no makeup. Top it off with a couple of audible random remarks to yourself or your car, and you’re golden. Bring a serious book and laugh out loud unapologetically at its contents. Creeps will look at you, but for all the wrong reasons.

  2. Also, I loved your remark about not caring about who the guy dates after you, and that you win in the end because you get to go home with yourself! Good stuff, and so true.

    1. I am cursed. I was in sweat pants and wanting ice cream to curb my menstrual misery. I (and this is not to put myself down i am a good looking woman) LOOKED LIKE SHIT. I have NO IDEA what they see and why i am a target for every jerk within a mile radius.

      1. Well, in that case, do the opposite! Dress like a queen, and refuse to look any man in the eye. Sniff at them, and make a face. I’ve done that one too. It depends on what mood I’m in as to how I choose to repel creeps on any given day.

    1. I’ve tried that one too. It only eggs them on. They become like Jehovah’s Witnesses and try to convert you to a straight woman, and won’t relent until you’ve agreed to come to all of their meetings, preferably with a girlfriend. Once I tried pretending that I was French and didn’t understand a word he was saying. I spoke the English of a 4-year-old with a very convincing accent. That only made him want me more. I guess we’re both cursed!
      Happy grocery shopping!!

  3. Lol! They really are pretty shitty sometimes, but your luck hasn’t been too hot either 😛

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